Love 2.0
In the last week I hit an important milestone; five years since I met my Mr Big, he was away(we'll celebrate when her gets back this week) and last weekend I went to visit one of my friends in Manchester for a girl's night out. My friend is single, and I find it really refreshing to spend time with her, as many of my friends are married now - not only can she drink me under the table, she also always has amusing tales to tell of her escapades.
It got me thinking about dating though and how it has changed along with all the technological developments that have happened in the last 5 years particularly. When I met my boyfriend five years ago, it was the first time I'd been single for around 5 and a half years and, like anyone who has got out of a long term relationship, I felt a bit lost in all the dating guides and quandries that had spring up since 2001 when I was a 19 year old student, snogging random fellow students, and getting my heart broken by someone I had thought(for about five minutes) I'd meant something to.
But, in 2007, I was an adult, no longer a student, a young professional(I was 25) and I felt I couldn't(and didn't want to be) having brief encounters with hazy faces, though at the time I felt nobody would ever love me again, I still believed in love and hope that the future had endless possibilities. On the couple of occasions I've met people where it has turned into something serious, it has always been when I haven't been looking, and from speaking to friends I would say 99% of the time that is the case for them too.
My life was to change in an amazing way, when a 6'2 American came strolling into the kitchen of the house I was living in at the time( a friend of a friend) saying that he was desperate for a cup of tea(I'd just made a pot.) He took off his glasses, I saw his sapphire blue eyes and a little part of me fell in love with him instantly. We spent the next couple of hours getting to know each other, no silences, no awkward pauses and we parted ways, me doubting I would ever see him again, but knowing I'd connected with him in a way I rarely do with anyone.
Over the next few days I couldn't stop thinking about him, and in the end sent a friendly text(I'd sneakily got his number). I waited 3 days to do this - was sure I'd read something about the '3 day rule,' I was thrilled to get a text back that day, and the rest, as they say is history. This was around the time facebook was becoming popular and part of our getting to know each other was through the virtual world, texts and phone calls(it was long distance the first two years) as well as getting together when we could.
Five years layer and despite some ups and downs, I can still say he is the Mr Big to my Carrie(those who have seen the last episode of Sex and the City will get this) and a mix of seeing each other, texts and phone calls, and social networking help keep us gong when we are apart(although we live in the same city now we don't live together.)
So how has dating changed in 2012? With the fast evolving technological changes, things seem more immediate in the dating world now, people announce their engagements through a facebook status change, and their impending offspring by uploading scan pictures, the world is changing at a pace we have never seen before, and this scares me slightly.
People no longer shy away from internet dating, while it used to be seen as a bit geeky, now many single people I know are happy to put everything they are looking for in a match.com profile. I have never been one for internet dating, each to their own, I know a few people now who are married with children who met online, though I know just as many with nightmare stories for online dates gone wrong.
So is all this immediacy part of our have it now, everything available 24 hours a day 7 days a week, culture that surrounds us in 2012? Want the latest iPhone but no cash? Sell your soul for a 24 month contract. Want that sofa that will complete your family home? Pay nothing today, instant credit, disposable lifestyles. Personally I have no interest in the latest must haves.
Because really, the must have that we are all looking for, is love. And that requires us to put in some time and effort. In the world of dating, none of us want to be disposable...
It got me thinking about dating though and how it has changed along with all the technological developments that have happened in the last 5 years particularly. When I met my boyfriend five years ago, it was the first time I'd been single for around 5 and a half years and, like anyone who has got out of a long term relationship, I felt a bit lost in all the dating guides and quandries that had spring up since 2001 when I was a 19 year old student, snogging random fellow students, and getting my heart broken by someone I had thought(for about five minutes) I'd meant something to.
But, in 2007, I was an adult, no longer a student, a young professional(I was 25) and I felt I couldn't(and didn't want to be) having brief encounters with hazy faces, though at the time I felt nobody would ever love me again, I still believed in love and hope that the future had endless possibilities. On the couple of occasions I've met people where it has turned into something serious, it has always been when I haven't been looking, and from speaking to friends I would say 99% of the time that is the case for them too.
My life was to change in an amazing way, when a 6'2 American came strolling into the kitchen of the house I was living in at the time( a friend of a friend) saying that he was desperate for a cup of tea(I'd just made a pot.) He took off his glasses, I saw his sapphire blue eyes and a little part of me fell in love with him instantly. We spent the next couple of hours getting to know each other, no silences, no awkward pauses and we parted ways, me doubting I would ever see him again, but knowing I'd connected with him in a way I rarely do with anyone.
Over the next few days I couldn't stop thinking about him, and in the end sent a friendly text(I'd sneakily got his number). I waited 3 days to do this - was sure I'd read something about the '3 day rule,' I was thrilled to get a text back that day, and the rest, as they say is history. This was around the time facebook was becoming popular and part of our getting to know each other was through the virtual world, texts and phone calls(it was long distance the first two years) as well as getting together when we could.
Five years layer and despite some ups and downs, I can still say he is the Mr Big to my Carrie(those who have seen the last episode of Sex and the City will get this) and a mix of seeing each other, texts and phone calls, and social networking help keep us gong when we are apart(although we live in the same city now we don't live together.)
So how has dating changed in 2012? With the fast evolving technological changes, things seem more immediate in the dating world now, people announce their engagements through a facebook status change, and their impending offspring by uploading scan pictures, the world is changing at a pace we have never seen before, and this scares me slightly.
People no longer shy away from internet dating, while it used to be seen as a bit geeky, now many single people I know are happy to put everything they are looking for in a match.com profile. I have never been one for internet dating, each to their own, I know a few people now who are married with children who met online, though I know just as many with nightmare stories for online dates gone wrong.
So is all this immediacy part of our have it now, everything available 24 hours a day 7 days a week, culture that surrounds us in 2012? Want the latest iPhone but no cash? Sell your soul for a 24 month contract. Want that sofa that will complete your family home? Pay nothing today, instant credit, disposable lifestyles. Personally I have no interest in the latest must haves.
Because really, the must have that we are all looking for, is love. And that requires us to put in some time and effort. In the world of dating, none of us want to be disposable...
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