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Open Heart Surgery

Recently I have been having trouble sleeping. I can get to sleep ok. But I wake up.  I cry my little heart out in the small hours.

But I couldn't think why. I couldn't understand it.  I knew I was going through it. I knew I was trying to control severe asthma. I knew I had major anxiety.

But I've had an epiphany.
In 2007 I met an amazing person at a wedding. I didn't even know if I would go to the wedding. I'd recently been heartbroken and didn't know if I could handle an event full of happy people, dancing and champagne. I've always worn my heart on my sleeve. I'm intense. I'm chaotic.  I don't let just anyone in. When we met it was an instant connection. I wanted to come over and speak to you. I wanted to get to know you. But I couldn't straight away. I kept looking at you out of the corner of my eye. It was like there was an invisible cord between us, pulling us together. Magnets. Lay lines. I tried to resist it but eventually I couldn…

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