Absence DOES make the heart grow fonder...

Boyf has been away this week, on hol with some mates. We went from one extreme to the other this year, from living 200 miles apart and seeing each other about once a month, to living together. I hadn't lived with a guy before (in the relationship sense) and didn't know what to expect. Rest assured I LOVE it.

I've lived in 9 different places in 9 years. In the past two years I've moved four times. Must have inherited my Grandad's nomadic tendencies. Last year I lived in my own flat down south for abut 6 months, for a short term contract, I liked it at first but, as I was living in an area where I knew no-one, and the cost of living was more than the salary could actually allow, I wasn't able to get out and meet people in the way I normally would if I had the funds (join exercise class/evening class/ go to the theatre etc.) Subsequently I grew more and more isolated there, especially as boyf was 20o miles away. Luckily I made a really good friend through work, she knows who she is, and we are still in touch. I'm not exaggerating when I say that she saved me during that time. Just having someone to go round and have a cup of tea with, who had been in the exact same boat as me 18 months previously, made my life there that much better.

Where was I? Got a bit distracted there, not like me! So, having lived in shared houses for the previous 7 years, although it was nice not having to put up with people's mess/moods/stuff, for the most part I loved most of the houses I lived in and am still in touch with most of my old housemates. They were there for me throughout and I will never forget that. I'm a pretty sociable person and it was weird to come home to silence. I'm glad that I tried living on my own, because otherwise I always would have wondered what it was like. But it's definitely not for me. Maybe in an area where you know people and already have an active social life but, because I knew I was only there for a short term, I wasn't committed to making a life for myself there.

I don't regret anythng in my life. It's part of my whole 'live for the moment' philosophy. I was talking to a friend about this yesterday. It's part of the whole cause and effect thing, if I hadn't been moving there, then I wouldn't have gone to stay with boyf for three weeks, and realised how much he meant to me. This week has also got me thinking about friends. Friends are one of the most important things in my life. You can pick your friends but you can't pick your family. Don't get me wrong, I am really lucky with my family, especially my sis who is like a best friend to me. But they are genetically predisposed to be in your life.

I am blessed to have so many good friends. We're all a bit scattered about now, but we stay in touch and meet up when we can. I think relationships (if you are in one) are one of the most important things, but friends are equally as special. You never know what is going to happen with relationships but you know your friends will always be there. My friends know I would drop everything for them and vice versa.

I see couples who only spend time with each other and it frightens me. For me it's so important to have friends and interests outside your relationship. I know loads of people through boyf which is fab, but think it's unhealthy only existing within a twosome. For me a partnership is two equals together not two people joined at the hip. I am fiercely independent, probably to my disadvantage sometimes but have been ever since I could speak.

That's what boyf is to me, someone who treats me as an equal, supports me,inspires me, and gives me a good (metaphorical) kick up the jacksy when I am being moody or snappy (come on I'm a woman!) It's more than money can buy coming home to a light in the window, and a nice cup of tea. But I'll always have tea in the pot for my friends too.

So that's that then. Absence does make the heart grow fonder. I was always wondering!


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